the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
