I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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