Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
