he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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