I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
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