My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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