I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
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