i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
