drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
