I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Dick very happy bro
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
