Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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