Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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