is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
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