Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Randomize
