We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
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