so explain again why im purple
no
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize