i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
