there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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