So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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