WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
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Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
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And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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