Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
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