Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
