This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Randomize
