i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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