A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
