Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Randomize
