he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize
