A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
