so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
