I wanna bring you to show and tell
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
