Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Randomize
