And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Randomize
