you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
