he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
