38 yer olds are good kisserssss
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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