my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
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