I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
