she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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