dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize
