Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
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