yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
