i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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