So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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