So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Randomize
