All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Randomize