I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
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