she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
