In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
