you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
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Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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