The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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