Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
if only i could text you this smell
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize
