I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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