I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
They took my balls.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
