I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
