Joe is yelling at the trees again.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Come share oat with me in your robe
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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