I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
