I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize