I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
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