THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
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