I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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