Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
