I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
