I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
