So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
they need to just BURY HIM!
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
COCAINE IS GR8
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
