i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
