I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
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no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
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I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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