Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
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