I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
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