This is not my ceiling
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
